Made in Mearns :O))

After the event I realized I have loads of handmade crafts ...still I wish I photographed every item I have ever made.... :O)))

Lovely lovely day in the woods today!! Weather was fantastic!

4 years ago I began an incredible life journey of motherhood..The unknown exciting destination lined with frustration, tiredness, new tasks and duties...trip to wisedom and responsibility ...everlasting unconditional love and affection...Test to the limits...Finding the strongest and weakest points within them and myself...Not wanting to be anywhere else..Cherishing the past ...Challenging the presence and Looking forward to the future... ... We live in the world where we can buy things instead of creating...We can go places instead make places come to us....I want to give you something that I was given long time ago....The imagination..The world I used to live in...where there was no supermarkets...No oceans of toys...Where our endless hours of childhood and freedom created lands and castles as colourful as rainbow...Where flowers and plants were inspiration for outfits interiors and stories...I want to give you time to sit down on this swing and think about what you can have if you choose to want it... Happy Birthday my Girl...

We were looking for accesories for our holidays in France...Girls got very very excited and happy that last years hats still fit!!! Ready to go :O))

My Hills...and Fields...and Trees...and Seas...

We were determined to go the beach and have a bbq, though weather was not too favourable...We almost did...when I realized I didn`t take my jacket...so it was rather nippy! Kids were having fun though...so we had a loop walk and went back stopping at Lee for a tea...

A little experiment...

to check if Eileen would like some baby rice...and she did...for some reason she thought it was coming out of her hands so she kept sucking them afterwards!! ha ha ha!!!
Well this must be said - this is an end of the era...She is growing...And my heart is filling up with that certain kind sadness that only mums know...maybe time to play lotto...Because if I won I know I would keep having babies until my menopause...which is quite some time yet :O))))

Another month has passed...

I am living in mental chaos...My head is flooded with things I have to do..things I want to do and things I regret I will never do because I have no time ...My camera has died..I am gutted... Not sure what to do...Try to fix it I suppose...Not happy in this small village house..I want land...I want freeom...I want chickens..I want simple life which costs..How ironic! I surround myself with pretty things which one day we hope will have a perfect spot in that dream house... I feel my time is limited...that scary feeling that I am killing myself starting yet another project and never finish it...an one ay it will be all over...suddenly...without any explaination...I need a structure to my life...pile of lists...books...magazines...ideas...I am sick of it...Ahh I need to go to sleep....
So here she is all beautiful chubby an cheeky :o))))

Tea party at Emily`s school...

Lovely to see her activity results at the school...
She was so proud showing us around...
To see her grow an change and develop into this amazing creative individual personality melts our hearts...

Still waiting for the ultimate trio portrait...

It might take a while to get them all together posing beautifully....In the mean time we will have to admire the "almost perfect poses" :O)))))

" I have seen it all and I am bored....."- Kara

As the picture shows lol!

Belly time commences

It was some few weeks ago I put Eileen on her belly and she didn`t mind at all!! In fact she enjoyed her self a lot! For some reason she kept lifting one leg up ...so kept rolling onto one side...too funny!

More of that day...

Project "12 of 15`s"

So I decided to take at least one photograph of our youngest daughter a month and it will always be a 15th of every month wearing these two headbands..No doubt she will look different every month...Its something I should`ve done with two other girls but never thought about it then...
Luckily these photos are not the only ones I took of our cute miss...An I should make a constant effort of uploading the photos all the time...

Night time...

In a haze of the cozy darkness...
With no shapes and no colours...
I wander and maneuver collisionless between the bedroom and rest of the house....
Do not fear the night..
You can count on me...
Forever...
Whenever you need a kiss..
A hug ...
I am here for you...
Because you my dears ...are the night time creations of my life lasting friends...
Love you dearly- Mum :o)))

Our darling still not well...

Poor little mite...Been having bad coughs and high temperature, dodgy eye, dry lips and nose full of boogies...Feeling for her...I know it may seem a bit cruel that first thing i think is : grab the camera...but unfortunately life is not just smiles and happy moments in the Grande
Family of Barberello`s ...Get better soon Isla...

Our princess not feeling too well..

I had to rush back from silver city as little girl was poorly at the nursery...

When I came in the door she sank in my arms with her flashed up face...

My heart melted in love and sympathy... Get better soon, my love...

Birth Story...

14 December 2011... Took Emily for a swim in David Lloyds in Aberdeen after her school...I wasn`t feeling great that day but how could I resist if I know she loves swimming so much and I had nothing better to do..She was doing do well..just floated there and splashed her legs. I really enjoy taking her there..On the way back we popped in to see my mum to catch up with her( as we usually do). Up until today i had no sign of labour coming at all......I sat there chatting to my mum when a sudden sharp pain shot across my belly..It took my breath away......It was strange as I noticed baby hasn`t moved while it happened...I had pains before but shortly after or during baby was moving ....so was used to just soreness at it moved about...but this one was different...i just knew...I got excited but knew I couldn`t get my hopes up as there had to be more for it to be the real thing...But there WERE more and some of them were quite sore some of them not so bad...some of them were just short sharp cramps...some of them numb...the more so indicating labour was coming...We were still in Aberdeen at that point and I thought to myself we better head back home as I didn`t want to end up in Aberdeen ( I planned a water birth in Montrose).On our way back home I had couple more bad pains (thats when I was actually driving the car lol!) It was quite challenging...I called Andrew to let him know whats happening and I could detect a bit of panic in his voice, so quickly had to calm him down...as clearly things could not be happening sooo quickly! So we made it safely to Laurencekirk and formulated a plan of action...Either take girls to Lee Ann or call my mum or dad to come over to ours to look after girls while we check things out at the hospital. My dad came over and we headed to hospital.I could feel the contractions coming and going...I knew I am in first stage of labour..Contractions were every 10-15 mins and getting painful and stretched in their lasting...Lovely midwife let us sit in a tv room and have a cup of tea and just wait and see what happens (Aberdeen would just send us home no question about it) so we sat there and waited and watched a movie. She said she doesn`t want to disappoint us if things are happening slowly so we might consider going back home ..have a bath and relax...Something was telling me we should stay as I just felt the whole thing IS happening and its a matter of WHEN...few hours maybe? hopefully...I was advised by my mummy friends of few babies to head for hospital quickly as 3rd time things might go considerably fast...Definately didn`t want to end up driving back and forth in full contractions..So we stayed..Movie was boring like hell and I just couldn`t sit still...rocking and swaying paced the room, had my tea and was just counting the contractions..Which were more painful..longer...sharper...and definatley more often...I didn` t have to ask Andrew to write them down as the discomfort noise I was making was pretty obvious...Plus I couldn`t even sit down anymore...I actually had to get up to them and lean on something to get through them...At that point (some 11pm) we asked for a check up and we were moved to another room – a rest room with a bed and on suite shower...Which was a blessing, Andrew went for a wee nap and I jumped in a hot shower to survive another few contractions...hot water running down my back was sooo soothing...was looking forward to get into a birthing pool was just hoping water wouldn`t be too cold...At that point my contractions were 3-4 minuted apart which actually felt like they happened all the time now... midwife offered us the room with the pool...comfy sofa was welcomed by Andrew and I made myself comfy in a pool...The lights were dimmed...it was lovely and warm ( if not too warm) Once I sat down I knew things are happening quickly...The calming effect of hot water and no gravity was soothing and relaxing and thats when things started happening really fast..I was a bit afraid of the pushy sensation of contractions... I was scared I would tear and just wished things would slow down......but they didn`t ...Then I reminded I wanted the experience to be recorded...that`s when Andrew said he left the camera in the car..Dough...I said – oh please go and get it..So he left...and Oh My God things were going fast at that point..Too fast...In panic I asked midwife: where is he? where is he? He is going to miss it as I felt I was pushing....She just ignored the questions and said: you just relax and push slightly,...Ahhh I was literally crossing my legs at the same time sooooo wanted to push...Where the Hell is he???!! Midwife just said: look into my eyes...just relax...and let the contractions do the work...I just spread my legs kneeling and leaning over the bath edge and pushed lightly...Andrew appeared in the door...Couldn`t get the camera working - DAMN!!! I spread my legs wide...as wide as possible...and let the contractions push...It was the weirdest sensation ever as before I was soo scared of letting it go I actually tuned my brain for them to help me and they were not so sore...One of the pushes caused my waters to break – little pop!- which was just slightly detectable by me but must have been noticed by midwife (water got pink she said lol!) few minuted after i could feel the baby`s head coming out...it got stuck for a tiny wee while...(baby was back to back – not the ideal position) So few minutes were really sore but baby turned and I could feel a relief for few seconds – thats where the neck was through....then slippery arms...belly...legs.....relief....aghhh....was warned quickly it would appear between my legs in front of me...and right enough a most beautiful incredible picture just popped up from the water in front of me!!! Had to grab it myself as midwife was behind me ....What a fantastic moment! Right into my arms...me and baby in the purple water...Didn`t even panic when midwife said cord was round its neck ..she actually told me to help her untangle it ! So I did! So naturally! No pressure! No panic! Incredible! I realized then I didn`t know if its a boy or a girl..so I had a look quickly and found out its a girl!!! Arghhh Sweet! And it just occurred to me she look just like Emily or Isla! Spit image! I held her in my arms but she was motionless..I just poured warm water on her and wondered why she wasn`t moving or doing anything...midwife calmed me down and said she probably hasn`t even noticed she was born lol!!! Its the water environment where they don`t feel the shock of temperatures...textures...noises...just a smooth transition from one comfy watery environment to another...hence the lazy slow sleepy lack of response! Fascinating!!! She eventually opened her mouth ...did the “Meaow” noise and started breathing...Incredible again!!! My placenta was still inside and cord still unclamped...We just took our time...Clamp was put on her cord eventually and Andrew cut the cord..I delivered the placenta naturally and it was the biggest relief as it was bloody massive..almost half size of the baby...So i pushed it out while midwife pulled it by the cord...I examined it carefully...found another fascinating object ...Then I just chilled out in a warm bloody water lol!...The smell of iron was overwhelming and somehow I felt like alpha female lol!...a Lioness...proud of my achievement!!!!We took few pictures and just took things easy...I drained the water and just washed myself while little one was enjoying her first moments with daddy..
I absolutely just loved the whole experience...water made it easier...warmer...calmer...cleaner... After few checks we could go to recovery room...I couldn`t believe i could just walk there ..We settled on the bed...nice and dark...cosy and warm..I gave the little one her first feed and oh dear she was a professional sucker lol! First night was quite overwhelming...we were going over the whole experience...Andrew went home early in the morning to look after girls and i just fell asleep....the comfort of back position was another incredible thing...still is now lol!
I am glad I wrote this story down as there is no way I would have time to do it now lol!
I will say Night night and ...Eileen Lilly Fedorowicz- Barber...my precious little girl...Welcome to the Wild Big World...Love you Loads
Mum

Some important numbers written down by daddy lol!


14 Dec 2011
22:43 con
22:51 little
22:57 tiny
23:02 large
23:11 short
23:18 bigger
23:26 bit longer
23:36 sore
23:44 as above
23:50 strong in the bog

15 Dec 2011
00:01 thu 15th shooting pain
00:06 little one
00:13 larger one
00:20 large
00:41 bit pushy 2going to car
01:10 it's coming unquote
01:14 closer
01:17 great room unquote
01:22 sore one
01:27 coming thick n fast
01:31 oh deary me
01:35 Toilet push
01:38
01:39 write this doon
01:58 missed a couple
02:03 again
02:06 strong
02:09 ooooooo mmmmmmmm ooo
02:13 not long to go now :)
02:17 another sore one
02:20 as above
02:23 regular as a Swiss watch
02:26 omega possibly
02:29 hangin in there
03:18 arrival at platform 3
3.340 kg 7lb 3oz
48cm long happy days